


love me or leave me

by evakintardiss



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Break Up, M/M, and one night he actually there, but its happy ending of course, isak dreams Even with him every night, it's kinda angsty I guess, not too much tho i cant handle angst myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:34:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23913919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evakintardiss/pseuds/evakintardiss
Summary: ''Please be here when I wake up tomorrow.'' he whispered turning to Even.  He bumped their noses and clunch onto him tighter. He was crying but didn't care a bit when Even was here, holding him and feeling real than ever.''Please don't be a dream, please don't be a dream Even.''or Isak and Even broke up but Isak still feeling his presence right beside him.
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen
Comments: 7
Kudos: 118





	love me or leave me

Isak looked at his reflection one more time. He looked better, well, compared to last month he had to look better. The clock was ticking, every minute that passed healing him. It had to. His skin was pale, eyes were burning, the skin around his nose was peeling off and he was so tired after a long day at the hospital. It tired him even more since he was permitted for 2 weeks but none of it could come close to how his heart was aching. Time hadn't done anything to how broken he was. He put the toothpaste on the cabinet and walked out off the bathroom to empty some boxes. His new place was nice, bigger and also the sun was coming in it more so that was a bonus. Boys and Eskild were helped him all week to move but there was still some personal stuff to put out in his room. His room. It was still feeling like a joke how he was going to bed alone every night and woke up to no one beside him. Shower alone or getting dressed up without no one hugging from behind or how he had to stand up to turn off the lights before going to bed. 

He heard the doorbell over the music he put on. He put the books he was holding on the table next to him to go open the door. 

''You don't have to come every night, you know that right?'' Jonas was already walking inside, Chinese take out in his hand. 

''I know, but Eva is so busy with wedding stuff anyway and girls are there every day. '' He sighed deeply while throwing the bag on his hand on the table. ''I love them but sometimes I can hear Vilde's voice in my ear at work, it's not the most pleasant one.'' Isak knew he needed to smile, to show Jonas that he is okay. He got better but there was no point anyway. Jonas knew him better than himself. 

''How are you?'' Jonas asked him when he handled him a beer and sat next to him. He took the tv remote from the table to open up a movie so maybe they wouldn't talk. He drank half of the bottle before turned to answer him. 

''I'm good.'' He shook his head as yes to support his words. 

''Are you sure? You look better I can see that.'' Isak was feeling his eyes on him.

''I'm trying to be good.'' He said, honestly. 

''That's good. That's something.'' He put his hand on his shoulder. ''You will be just like the old times soon. You know that right?'' 

''Yeah, I know.'' He didn't know. ''Can we watch something? I really don't wanna talk.'' He knew Jonas would understand him and he did so. 

''Sure.'' They have watched shitty comedy movies all night and for the first time in a really long time Isak didn't want to room to take him under.   
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Going to bed and trying to sleep every night was the hardest part. He felt him, he felt Even holding him. Every time he closed his eyes Even was behind him to hold him tight and press kisses to his hair to soothe him and then he wasn't there when he opens his eyes. First few nights he just played with his brain to sleep and thought Even was really there and hold onto his ghost to sleep himself but some nights it was too much, it was too much that Even didn't wanna hold him anymore, it was too much that he wasn't sure about their future together that he wanted to take a break from him to think, it was too much that Isak still needed to dream his touch to go to sleep. So he just cried. Every night. He cried himself to sleep to feel Even's touch on him and wished that they were real. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The thing is Isak knew it was coming. They were drifting apart and the red flags were everywhere. Isak was at the hospital most of the time because being an intern in a big hospital was hard and Even was flying to Romania almost every week to shoot. They were rarely seeing each other and he was missing him more and more every day. He knew Even was right to ask for a break but that break grew and grew and grew that Isak was in his new place right now that no messages from Even for almost 2 weeks. He wanted to text him more than anything else but it was hard while Even asked for a break from him and he didn't want to push him but the way he didn't know how much this break will last was destroying him. He was running to his phone in every voice it gives, he was running to every doorbell like Even knew his new address. He just couldn't help but panic that Even will realize how much of a hard work Isak was and leave him permanently this time. Cut the strings altogether. He shook his head to get rid of his thoughts and got up to get back to the hospital, leaving his untouched lunch on the table. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isak woke up to the pitch black of his room. He reached the phone on the nightstand to look for the time. 03:56. He signed before fell back to the bed. There was no way he was going back to sleep and he knew that but he was too tired to even sit and read something to pass time. 

''Baby, what are you doing? You couldn't sleep again?'' Isak shot opened his eyes to look next to him, he felt his breath was hitching. He threw his hand to feel him, feel his warmth. 

There was nothing. It was empty. He felt his heart sank. Tears were burning his eyes. He got up from the bed and hardly threw his body to his little balcony. He needed to breathe. He pulls out of a cigarette out of its box and lights it with his shaky breathe. He needed to breathe. He just needed to breathe. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------  
It was pouring rain when he got out of the hospital that evening. He ran to the bus as fast as possible. He was soaking wet by the time he got home. He threw his clothes to the laundry basket and wore his coziest clothes to keep him warm. It was late and he was already ready to go to bed since his shift was so long today and also well because he wasn't sleeping well at nights. He was going to the kitchen to make himself something warm to keep get warm while he heard the doorbell. It was too late to be Jonas and Eskild was working tonight. He clicked the kettle's button and went to the door. 

''Hi.'' Okay Even was not the person he would've thought while on his door but here he was. He was looking at him, soaked wet and panic in his eyes. 

''Can i come in?'' Even tried one more time when Isak didn't give any living sign to him. He was just looking at him, frozen on the spot. 

''What are you doing here?'' He hardly heard his own voice. ''You are not here, are you?'' He was ready to cry, his head was messing with him big this time. 

''What?'' 

''I know you are not here, i didn't even go to sleep yet.'' He said. It was so unfair that everything was so real. He was hearing little drops crushing to the floor from Even's hair. 

''Look, I'd understand if you want me to go I just...'' He made a move to the stairs while speaking and Isak got panicked the thought he was leaving so he held onto Even's jacket abruptly to keep him place out of reflex and... he was there. he didn't crumble into his hands or Isak didn't just feel nothing but coldness in his hands but Even's wet denim jacket. 

''You are here.'' He squeezed his hand to feel him more. ''Oh my god, you are really here.'' He threw himself into Even's arms without having a second thought and felt Even's arms tightly around him instantly. His tears were covering his face but all he could think about was how Even's arms feeling so full secure around him or how his smell was burning Isak's nose in the best way. 

''I needed to see you.'' Even said, his voice was thick due to he pressed his face to Isak's neck. 

''Come inside, you are so cold.'' He held Even's hand to drag him inside. He closed to door and took his jacket and showed Even a place to put his shoes. He was feeling Even's eyes on him when he was picking clothes for him to change. He was in a place he never has seen before but his eyes were locked on him. Isak felt his cheeks burning up under the attention and also because Even was next to him in so long. 

''There you go, you can use the bathroom too if you want. I'm sure there is a spare toothbrush in the cabinet'' Isak said, smiling softly. Even took the clothes and smiled him back before heading to the bathroom. ''Thank you.'' 

Isak sat on the bed, waiting for himself. He was still scared that Even won't come back from the bathroom and everything that just happened is only a dream. He closed his eyes, his hands were shaking, he had no idea what he would do if it was a dream. 

''Thank you for letting me in.'' He smiled when he heard his voice. He was here. 

''Of course.'' He smiled again, he was already smiling more than he did in this past month. 

''Isak, I know you want to talk but...''

''Can't we just sleep?'' He couldn't help to sound too vulnerable. ''I just wanna sleep tonight and hold you, if you are okay with it of course.'' He said. They could talk tomorrow but right now all Isak needed was feeling Even's touch. His real touch. 

''Yeah, sure.'' Even's eyes were shining in the dark. ''We can talk tomorrow.''

''Isak moved to get under the duvet and made room for Even to get in. Even spooned him from behind the minute he got into the bed and Isak held onto his arms like his life was depending on it. 

''Please be here when I wake up tomorrow.'' he whispered turning to Even. He bumped their noses and clunch onto him tighter. He was crying but didn't care a bit when Even was here, holding him and feeling real than ever.

''Please don't be a dream, please don't be a dream Even.'' 

Even kissed the tip of his nose first, and then his tears and then his wet lashes. He traced his hand on his cheek to pick up his tears and lastly kiss his Isak's lips. Isak's heart glowed. 

''I will never leave you again.'' He said, still kissing in between every word. ''I'm gonna make time and see you every day, hold you every day and if it feels too much again, we are gonna take it slowly, minute by minute but I'm never gonna leave you again.'' He sounded so sure that Isak believed his every word. He smiled and turned his head to kiss Even's palm. 

''Promise?'' he asked, one more time before drown to sleep covered in Even's scent. Even kissed his forehead and pressed him closer to his chest.

''Promise.''

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! so i did something again..... blame quarantine please dshfdsh this is an outcome of my bored ass and so ready snap brain soo I'm not sure if it's good or not but Diana and Özge liked it so I'm gonna trust them. I hope you guys liked it <335


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